improve your piece of media by adding non-sexualized lesbians. lesbian heros. lesbian villains. lesbian minor characters. old lesbians. young lesbians. chubby lesbians. poc lesbians. non-binary lesbians. firefighter lesbians. astronaut lesbians. queen lesbians. everyday lesbians. don’t give me that look chop chop more lesbians
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butch lesbians? majestic
femme lesbians? gorgeous
ace lesbians? magical
aro lesbians? a blessing
trans lesbians? spectacular
genderqueer lesbians? beautiful
gender fluid lesbians? stunning
agender lesbians? amazing
lesbians? perfection
The amount of lesbians who know that they’re lesbians from a young age versus the amount of gay men who know that they’re gay from a young age shows a staggering difference in that most lesbians take way longer to realize that they’re gay.
Girls are told that dating men is supposed to be hard and essentially unfulfilling. That it’s normal to expend emotional and sexual labor without receiving anything or feeling anything in return. Girls are told that their attraction to men and relationships with men should be difficult and sometimes feel forced because men are so emotionally lacking or otherwise “hypermasculine”.
Realizing that you don’t like men because you’re gay versus just feeling emotionally exhausted or unable/unsure of how to “please” men is part of the reason why compulsory heterosexuality is so damaging. It forces many girls to continue to date men and to keep trying to feel attraction to them long after they’ve realized that there’s nothing there—particularly blaming themselves for the reasons why relationships with men don’t work out instead of thinking it’s an indicator of being gay, which most (though of course not all) gay men are able to recognize as an initial indicator.
Not all lesbians always identified as a lesbian or always knew they were a lesbian. Some lesbians used to be bi or pan, some used to be straight, some might’ve known they didn’t like guys but weren’t sure they liked girls yet and some might’ve known they liked girls but weren’t sure they didn’t like guys. Some lesbians view their past attraction to men as completely a result of compulsory heterosexuality and some simply believe that their attraction has changed over time. There are lesbians who dated a hundred guys before realizing they were a lesbian and there are some who didn’t have to. But no matter our past, lesbians shouldn’t have to pretend like we never dated men or never thought we were attracted to them in order for our identity as a lesbian to be respected and validated. Dating men at some point is such a huge part of so many lesbians’ experiences and those lesbians should know that it’s okay if they dated men before identifying as a lesbian or while they were in the process of figuring out they weren’t attracted to them without feeling like less of a lesbian for it.
Straight women are so scared of lesbians I think because womanhood is so sutured to heterosexuality that when lesbians talk about their sexuality it often makes straight women question the authenticity of their attraction to men, and they don’t want to consider that the heteropatriarchal system which informs and enforces heterosexuality exploits women
They really fear lesbians. Because in some strange level, let us never forget the ever-expanding gaseous state of the male ego. Which is men still believe that women do everything in response to them. Therefore, for a lot of these guys, a woman’s a lesbian because she hasn’t had him. He will change this dolorous experience and she will of course love men because of him. The truth is, women aren’t lesbians because of men. Women are lesbians because of women: they love women! And that’s what drives them crazy, they don’t want to accept that central fact of lesbian life, which is it has nothing whatsoever to do with men. And never will.
what a good day to remember that trans men can be gay and trans women can be lesbians and that cis lesbians can love trans women and cis gay men can love trans men
“A long-term study of children
raised by lesbians found that these children were less likely
to suffer from physical and sexual abuse than were their peers
who were raised by heterosexuals. This is thought to be due to
the absence of adult heterosexual men in the households (Gartrell,
Bos, & Goldberg, 2010). Girls raised by
lesbians tend to have higher self-esteem, show more maturity
and tolerance than their peers, and are older when they have
their first heterosexual contact (Gartrell et al., 2005, 2010). Children
raised by same-sex parents seem to be less constrained by
traditional gender roles; boys are less aggressive, and girls are
more inclined to consider nontraditional careers, such as doctor,
lawyer, or engineer (Gartrell et al., 2005; Stacey & Biblarz,
2001). Over the course of more than 20 years, scientists studied
the psychological adjustment of 78 teenagers who were raised by lesbian mothers. Compared to age-matched counterparts raised
by heterosexual parents, these adolescents were rated higher
in social, academic, and total competence, and lower in social
problems, rule-breaking, aggression, and externalizing problem
behavior (Gartrell & Bos, 2010).
There are fewer studies of children raised by two men, but gay
fathers are more likely than straight fathers to put their children
before their career, to make big changes in their lives to accommodate
a child, and to strengthen bonds with their extended families
after becoming fathers (Bergman, Rubio, Green, & Padrone,
2010).”
~ Martha Rosenthal, Human Sexuality: From Cells to Society, p.247.
“having gay parents will harm children”
I love that this is cited and sourced ahhhh. Actual researched support! So good.
Straight women are so scared of lesbians I think because womanhood is so sutured to heterosexuality that when lesbians talk about their sexuality it often makes straight women question the authenticity of their attraction to men, and they don’t want to consider that the heteropatriarchal system which informs and enforces heterosexuality exploits women
